On top of Spaghetti
So rarely does pop culture send out tiny, brilliant flares that I want to hide the ball for a moment. So let me begin with this e-mail: "I have recently read your article to the [Kansas] school board. You seem to be arguing that the FSM created the earth. I believe the God of the Bible created the earth. Your argument states that schools should teach evolution, intelligent design, and FSM creation.... The teaching of Intelligent Design does not promote my God any more than yours or anybody else's for that matter.... Your letter gives the impression that you want your religion to be taught. I believe that is wrong. We may have different beliefs about how the universe came into existence but we both believe in Intelligent Design."
The e-mail was sent to the official website of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ("FSM" above; www.venganza.org). The email references a letter from the Church that argues that its beliefs also be taught in Kansas schools along with intelligent design. FSM beliefs are primarily: 1) the Flying Spaghetti Monster created everything; 2) the Flying Spaghetti Monster will mess with your science if you try to prove otherwise; and 3) the shrinking number of pirates is responsible for global warming and other environmental disasters (a graph proves it).
Like most faiths, self-described Pastafarians have a gospel, some apparel ("sacrilicious"), scattered decals, and good quotes. "In the beginning, He created a mountain, trees, and a midget."
And yet, how many other faiths strive so fully to shine light in the darkest homes of ignorance? If even one bulb lights over a single head, then the Flying Spaghetti Monster has served all mankind, just as we can serve Him, ideally with a light garlic sauce.
May you be forever touched by His noodlyappendage.RAMEN.