[ READERS' CHOICE ] BY CITY NEWSPAPER READERS
We'll be honest with you: while we enjoy spreading the word about what you voted as Rochester's best pizza parlor or car shop, our favorite part of Best Of is going through the smart-ass answers sent in by our clever, snarky readers. You all are funny. And MEAN! But that's why we like you. Below find some of our favorite responses to the open-ended primary ballot, which ran during September. If you missed your chance to get in a zinger or two, make sure to check back next fall for a chance to get in your potshots.
Oh, yeah! THAT one!
That place at the food court at Marketplace. (Best Pizza)
That place on Monroe Ave that I can't remember because I'm always hungover when I'm there. (Best Breakfast)
That cute little place on Monroe. (Best Diner)
That dude that stands outside that place. (Best Street Meat Vendor)
Uhm...the place on Merchants. (Best Florist)
That place behind Dogtown. (Best Make-Out Spot)
The one down the street. (Best Corner Store)
The one with all the old things. (Best Antique Store)
OH OH The one that sells seeds... (BestGarden Store/Nursery)
The dude on NPR. (Best Radio Voice, Male)
That chick on that show. (Best Radio Voice, Female)
The one with all the left turns. (Racing Event)
I can't remember their name...one girl, two guys,...the voices are bad but they're so good. Played at the Bug Jar. (Original Band)
That douchey one. Oh wait, that doesn't help. (Nightclub)
That kid who dances on the corner in Holley. (Best Local Newsmaker)
The fat one. (Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer)
Ones with a strong sense of unity. (Best Neighborhood)
Why is she in such a bad mood?
Dianasour. (Best Barbecue)
That's not what she sad last night. (Oooh, ya burnt!)
My girlfriend's place! You're not invited! (Best Breakfast)
You might want to reconsider those plans at some point...
No thanks. I don't plan on dying. (Allergic.) (Best Fish Fry)
Ain'tno thing but a chicken wing.
Anywhere, they're all the same too -- there's no real secret to making wings. You fry them and throw on some sauce.
Pride goeth before the fall...
I'm a PROUD Rochester native but I will NEVER touch one of those things! (Best Plate)
Creepy van in East End. (Best Street Meat Vendor)
"Jermaine the thug - in the Houuuuuuse" (Best Street Meat Vendor)
Everyone's a little bit racist.
They're all the same, aren't they? (Best Asian Restaurant)
Thanks for sharing.
I don't like pasta. (Best Italian Restaurant)
Wow, somebody really likes quesadillas.
Sol Mother-F**king Burrito!!!!!! Best Quesadillas Ever! I Promise! (Best Mexican Restaurant)
Not a kid person.
Your kitchen at home, where your ill-behaved children belong. (Best Family Restaurant)
Those don't exist. In every kitchen is a hungover waitress screaming about how f**ked up she got the night [before]. (Best Family Restaurant)
How do you even make vegan ice cream?
The vegan one. Oh wait, never mind. (Best Ice Cream Shop)
I ALWAYS PAY! (you're welcome babe!) (Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)
Easy to please.
Anywhere. I'm greedy AND adventurous. (Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying)
Disturbing for so many reasons...
McGangBang -- a McChicken sandwiched between a double cheeseburger -- at the now-defunct East Ave McDonald's. $2.16 of Death. (Best Meal Under $10)
Good luck, indeed.
Good Luck, cuz I have to stock that shit. (Best Wine List)
The Bachelor Forum...tons of cocks, many selections. (Best Cocktail Selection)
Yes, we are so impressed by your big, manly beer...
(Shrugs) No pussy drinks for me. (Best Cocktail Selection)
But why? They're so cushy on your feet.
I'm scared of laundry mats. (Best Laundromat)
Note: City Newspaper does not advocate this method of acquiring a new-car.
Get yourself a good crowbar and you can buy a new car anywhere. (Best Place to Buy a New Car)
Because some of us aren't elitist pricks?
Why would you want someone else's junk? (Best Place to Buy a Used Car)
That class reunion will be uncomfortable...
I went to school with Rich Ide and he makes a lot of jokes for someone who just is NOT FUNNY. (Best Place to Buy a Used Car)
And also, illegal.
Highland Park with a pair of gardening shears ought to be pretty good. (Best Florist)
Also handy when trying to remember Madonna lyrics.
When you have about six gay friends who do hair, you never have to go anywhere. (Best Hair Salon)
Watch out for the bald, nude, shoeless man walking the streets.
I am a dude. (Best Hair Salon, Spa, Clothing Store, Secondhand Clothing Store, Shoe Store)
For a different kind of facial.
Rochester Spa and Body Club. (Best Spa)
But how do you business casual?
Clothes are overrated, body paint is where it's at! (Best Clothing Store)
But better, because your dentist can't put a bitchin' Neil Diamond effigy on your molar.
Physical Graffiti: clean as a dentist's office. (Best Tattoo Parlor)
Ba-dump bump! Part 2
Liquor in the front and Poker in the rear. (Best Liquor Store)
We think you mean "CrackyMcCracky's Crack Stop."
That place with the crack stems with roses in them. (Best Corner Store)
The most magical day of the week.
Trash day eve. (Best Furniture Store)
Your mom said to shut up.
Ask my mom. (BestGarden Store/Nursery)
He said it, Bob. We didn't.
The angry Bob Lonsberry.Uber-MANLY!!! (Best Radio Voice, Male)
Have you tried a Jonas Brothers CD instead?
Radio makes me hate music. (Best Radio Voice, Female)
Best answer ever, if you get the reference.
Karen in "Mean Girls." (Best Reliable Weatherperson)
Does he also rent an apartment to Chrissy, Jack, and Janet?
Al Roper. (Best Reliable Weatherperson)
Setting the bar high.
RNews, because they fucking do news up real good and shit.
RNews, simply because it's always on.
Channel 10, because everything's an investigation. (Best TV News Station)
Oldies but goodies.
Don Alhart: that guy must be immortal.
Ray Levato: old and cranky. Not unlike me. (Best Male News Reporter)
I'm sure she appreciates the sentiment.
Who ever is the ugliest...she needs a confidence booster, I bet.
Nikki Rudd, I would totally leave my husband for her. (Best Female News Reporter)
But do they know you're laughing at them, not with them?
Monroerising: rightwing nuts, totally w/o restraint or shame. (Best Local Website)
But what does that leave us with?
Anything that doesn't feature a fat Italian man yelling at me to buy a car. (Best Local Commercial)
High standards, Part 2.
Everything, because it wasn't about the freaking fast ferry. (Best Local News Story)
We thought her middle name was "Helen."
Maggie "I'm going to close the library and zoo and sue to stop gay marriage" Brooks. (Politician in Need of a Slap in the Head)
Mayor Duffy, consider it a mandate:
I wish they would buy an ice cream truck and drive around and give out free ice cream. (Best Use of Public Funds)
As if we could stop you...
Can I still complain about the fast ferry? (Misuse of Public Funds)
Why can't it be both?
The mysterious smell around MCC: death or coffee? (Urban Legend)
Dammit, we had Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the lead pipe.
Mayor Duffy, in the Dining Room, with the Wrench. (Local Scandal)
Um, no.Tim Allen of "Toy Story," maybe.
Tim Allen of "Home Improvement." (Improvement Rochester Needs)
How do they keep score?
SmugtownBabyMakers. (Sports Team)
We're sure she appreciates your support
Jen Str.... I can't spell it. The pole vaulter. (Athlete)
Giving a new meaning to "tee off"
GeneseeValley. It used to be a great place to hook up at night. (Golf Course)
OK, fine. We accept it.
Park Avenue. It's urban! You're City! Accept it!! (Hiking Spot)
We're pretty sure this is a joke. We hope it is.
I like to troll for kids at local schools. (Playground)
She's got nothing on Accordion Boy
Ukelele Girl seems cool. (Solo Musician)
Feel the love
The street. (Kids Entertainment)
Sounds like a plan.
Lux. If the date sucks you can drunkem up and push them on to someone else and then leave with a friend. Haha. (Place for a First Date)
Klassy Cat. (Romantic Restaurant)
Where can we find this magical place?
Bikinis & Weenies. (Place to Find a One-Night Stand)
Cue the rimshot...
Solera. Most people seem quite happy there. (BestGayBar)
A plea for equality.
There are no male strip clubs in town, so suck it. (Best Strip Club)
Something to shoot for next year.
Hahahahahaha... my new goal in life! To be voted Rochester's best whore. Shoot me. (Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer*)
Someone has a thing for the Brawny man...
Where do they sell flannel? (Best Lingerie Shop)
Your taxpayer dollars at work:
In front of one of the new police cameras. (Best Make-Out Spot)
*City removed the Best Stripper/Exotic Dancer category after nobody received more than one vote in our preliminary ballot.