Off-the-cuff, sometimes off-color responses to our Best of Rochester 2018 Primary Ballot
(Best Source of Rochester Pride) “You know it's Wegmans.”
HAVE YOU TRIED WEGMANS?
(Best Place to Meet Singles) “I DON’T KNOW! Please tell me!”
LET US DRINK IN PEACE!
(Best Regional Brewery) “Beer is gross and Rochester needs to calm the fuck down.”
(Best Regional Distillery) “Everything tastes like corn, please try harder.”
(Best Bar for Craft Cocktails) “Cocktails are dead. Don’t tell though, I need that money.”
THE NAME GAME
(Best Local TV Personality) “Ashlee Dorzbacher”; “Ashley Doberhoiser”; “Ashley Doberhauser”; “Ashley Doerenbacher”; “Ashley Doersbacher”; “Ashley Doesrbacher”; Ashley Dorhzbacher”; “Ashley Dorsczbacher.” Sympathies to Ashley Doerzbacher of 13WHAM.
IT’S MY PARTY
(Best Place to Go Dance)
“The graves of those who wronged me.”
“The laser room at the Strong Museum...toddlers DGAF”
YOU CAN DO BETTER
(Best Place to Meet Singles) “In Hell”; “Home Depot.”
(Best Winery) “Nextdoor.com. Seriously instead of being whiners on the app, people need to get up and get involved to make change happen.”
(Best Salon) “OH MY GOD HOW DOES ROCHESTER SUPPORT SO MANY SALONS, BUT I NEVER SEE GOOD HAIRSTYLES AROUND TOWN!”
SO, NOT TAHOU’S?
(Best Place for a Rochester Plate) “Gross. No.”; “Oh God why would you?”; “None. Ever.”; “Yeah, right, haha!”; “Yuck.”
MAYBE FOR TED NUGENT
(Best Live Music Venue, Arena/Large Venue) “CPAC”
(Best Piercer) “Lindsay Lohan, The Parent Trap”
A CAREER DOWN THE DRAIN
(Best Local Solo Musician) “Me in the shower”
FAMILY TRIP, BUMMER EDITION
(Best Local Family-Friendly Attraction) “The polluted shores of Lake Ontario”