Start your engines -- "RuPaul's Drag Race" is FINALLY back for its seventh season. And to quote Mother Ru herself, this is "the most raggedy season yet."
Mrs. Kasha Davis joins the "Drag Race" this season, making her the third queen from Rochester to make it on the show. There must be something in the water here -- or the wine. What better place to watch the season premiere then with Mrs. Davis at the Bachelor's Forum -- which is exactly what I did on Monday night for the season premiere. Time to recap the whirlwind that was last night's premiere.
Let's start with the roster for this season:
Ginger Minj (29, Orlando) -- An "overweight, asthmatic, chain-smoking, cross-dresser from Orlando, Florida." I love her: "GLAMOUR TOAD."
Jaidynn Diore Fierce (25, Nashville) -- Is she fierce, though? "Capital F-I-E-R-C-E, because I am what? Fierce." Okay, definitely fierce. Her reaction faces are everything.
Jasmine Masters (37, Los Angeles) -- SIX-PACK REALNESS. She called Atlanta "Hotlanta" to which Violet responded "No one calls it that." Yes they do, Violet. Yes they do.
Kandy Ho' (28, Puerto Rico) -- The first question she asked Tempest Dujour was how old she was. SHADE. She got hers later on when the judges told her she looked like she contoured a beard onto her face.
Katya (32, Boston) -- "Your average, run-of-the-mill, Russian, transvestite, hooker." Got it.
Kennedy Davenport (33, Dallas) -- Oprah realness.
Max (22, Wisconsin) -- Kitchy, Hollywood glamour. Kind of reminds me of Tammie Brown from Season 1 -- minus the cray.
Miss Fame (29, New York City) -- "Classic, chic, fashion model" -- threw the first shade of the season when she offered tips on how to make your face not shiny using Max's newspaper.
Mrs. Kasha Davis (43, Rochester) -- International, celebrity housewife from ROCHESTER. Was that a Hot Rod Betties dress, she was wearing?
Pearl (23, Brooklyn) -- "Robotic, Stepford wife, bitch." Black chin strap?
Sasha Belle (28, Iowa City) -- Feels like she's going to win Drag Race because she's watched a lot of Drag Race. Mmmm...OK.
Tempest DuJour (46, Tuscon) - She walked in and immediately gave birth to a plastic baby doll. What does it say about me that this is no longer shocking?
Trixie Mattel (24, Milwaukee) -- Over-the-top Barbie make-up. Kitsch.
Violet Chachki (22, Atlanta) -- "I'm very visually appealing." "I don't have any fat to push together." Okay, Violet, we get it.
The show's first challenge was Fashion Week-inspired: each queen needed to debut a spring and fall look on the runway. There were pants, there were no pants (Jaidynn), and there was fur for all seasons. Violet Chachki's 2-for-1 dress was the winning look -- I'm not warming up to her yet, but that dress definitely had the wow factor.
The queens aren't the only new faces this season: Santino Rice is out and Ru has brought in Carson Kressley ("Queer Eye for the Straight Guy") and Ross Mathews ("Chelsea Lately," and commentary for various E! "specials"). Kathy Griffin and her extensions were the extra special judges.
The night's second challenge was to create a nude-illusion look, because "we're born naked, the rest is just drag." Some nipples were askew, some black bras were showing, but for the most part, the ladies brought it.
Jasmine Master's hula hoop tent creation did not leave her in the final two, but it almost did. Kandy Ho's contoured beard and Tempest DuJour's baggy nude illusion went up against one another when it came time to lip sync for your life. Ho's moves beat out DuJour's weird, flailing, arm dancing and DuJour had to sashay away. Bye, DuJour.
Next week: We'll hopefully get to know these ladies a little bit better in Glamazonian Airways.