“True Blood” Season 7, Episode 8: “Almost Home”

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In this episode, Bill Compton cemented his place as the biggest idiot on this show. And that’s really saying something, given the terrible decision making all around, especially from the Stackhouse clan. But Vampire Bill is really the absolute dumbest.

Before we get into that, I realized about halfway through this episode that something wonderful has happened this season: I actually care about these characters again. I truly had had just about enough of all of them at the beginning of this season, with the exception of Jessica, who is never not great. But the emotional scene between Lettie Mae and Tara, the quiet conversation between Bill and Sookie, and the legitimate peril for Jason, Jessica, and Adilyn (I remain ambivalent about Wade) made me realize that I actually am invested in what happens to these characters.

And that really is where Season 7 is a success to me -- so far, at least. The mega plotline about the Hep V vamps and now the Yakuza and the Sarah Newlin cure -- it’s fine. Not exactly riveting, except for seeing how the main cast members infected by the disease will get out of their impending doom. But there has been some strong character work this season that reminded me why I liked this show to begin with. (Well, the characters and the campiness, and also all of the sex and nudity. Which has been in short supply lately, so please fix that, show.)

All that said, these people are still incredibly stupid.

First, we wrapped up the Lettie Mae/Lafayette/Tara/Reverend plot by having Lettie and Lala trip on James’s vampire blood while at Tara and Lettie’s old house. And this time, the Reverend joined them and realized that maybe his wife isn’t totally nuts. (Kidding; she is absolutely cuckoo.) They all had a shared vision of Tara, who kind of brought them back in time to her 5th birthday party, which was interrupted by Tara’s drunk, rageaholic asshole dad. The V trippers watched as Tara’s father assaulted Lettie Mae in the past, and child Tara took the man’s gun and aimed at him -- but did not pull the trigger. She then buried the gun in the backyard, which is what V apparition Tara was trying to show them in the present. This was a very roundabout way for Ghost Tara to essentially give Lettie Mae a Care Bear Stare: Lettiehas to forgive herself for letting Tara down, because Tara let HER down by not killing that bastard when she had the chance. (That is some deeply messed-up logic, by the way. “It’s OK that you became an abusive drunk, because I should have shot Dad years earlier.” GRIM.) But Ghost Tara gave Lettie the gift of closure, and that was really lovely. And I’m glad Tara got a proper send-off on this show, considering how integral she was to the earlier seasons. But that seemed like an awfully convoluted way to get to that resolution when your nephew is a guy who can channel spirits. (Also, the best part of this to me was the family currently living in the home, horrified as these vampire-blood junkies just dug up their yard and stomped through their house. Can you imagine?)

The Teen Sex Idiots in Peril plotline was resolved after Violet sent pictures of Adilyn, Wade, and Jessica in bondage (not, like, sexy bondage; actual bondage) to Jason, prompting him to head to Violet’s mansion. Coming along for the ride was Hoyt’s random blonde girlfriend, Bridget, who had a big blow-up with Hoyt over children, which amounted to basically nothing. Violet quickly dispatched Jason and was about to begin some truly twisted Spanish Inquisition-style torture before Hoyt barged in and shot her dead. From where did Hoyt come? Did he tail Jason the whole way? Violet is hundreds of years old and was taken unaware by a dude with a gun? One shot was all it took? Weak sauce, show. There was some nice symmetry in that Hoyt killed the woman who killed his mother, even if he’s completely unaware of that fact. But, like so many of this show’s Big Bads, it was quite anticlimactic. Also, thanks for waiting until her last two episodes to make me like Violet. A raving madwoman with massive insecurities and a sweet sex dungeon is a character I should not have to force myself to like. She could have been the second coming of my beloved elegant wereblossom, Debbie Pelt.

The out-of-left-field rescue threw Hoyt and Jessica together for several heart-tugging exchanges. It all reminded of me of how much I liked that character in the beginning, and how adorable he and Jessica were together. (And also, I forgot what a hot piece Hoyt is. Especially now that he’s got a bit of Alaskan oil-man swagger. Am I right, ladies?) I can’t see how any of that is going to end well, but I so loved seeing them together again.

But then, I also didn’t hate Sookie and Bill together this episode. I only hated them separately. After Eric was healed by doing a shot of Sarah Newlin, he randomly flew to Sookie to tell her he was OK. (Again, this seemed very weird to me -- especially since she was at Bill’s house at the time.) Dumbass Sookie then drove to Fangtasia to get the secret of the cure from Eric and had to deal with the Yakuza, who were…unpleasant. (Except for the beefy tattoed ones; they were fine.) There was a whole fake-glamouring scene that tipped off the head of the Japanese contingent that something was up, but I didn’t understand why Sookie didn’t use any of her mind-reading abilities or other tricks during this sequence. Ultimately she found out about Sarah -- who is really, truly crackers, referring to herself as a new messiah -- went back and got Bill, and they all waited around for him to be cured. And then Bill said no. He didn’t want to drink.

So, there you go. Vampire Bill had a cure right in front of him and he willingly passed it up. Going into that scene I figured one of three things would happen. He would either get JUST to the point of drinking Sarah and die in a bloody pile of veins and irony, he would go nuts and kill Sarah instead, or he would decide not to do it. The last one makes sense given Bill’s irritating self-loathing and his acceptance that he brings only darkness into Sookie’s world. (This was subtly -- excuse me, “subtly” -- driven home by Bill’s dream in which he and Sookie had a shadow baby. So, confirmed crossover: Sookie is Melisandre from “Game of Thrones” and the shadow baby that killed Gay Renly was her kid with Bill. You’re clever, HBO!)

And nobody thought of Willa whatsoever.

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