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Inbox - 12.14.05

Remarkable correspondence from the consistently unremarkable world of email

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Inbox is going to be holding a contest. In addition to collecting emails, we are going to dedicate one column to The Best Subject Lines Ever Written. There is a certain poetry in the abstractions of subject lines and we'd like to compile an experimental list of the best out there. So, disregard any other information in the email, except for the subject line, and send it along. The deadline for entries is January 13.

The following email is from a father to his son, regarding some pine straw that appears to have caused some medical issues. Brenda is the mother. Please send all insurance claims to inbox@rochester-citynews.com.

--- Michael Neault


From: Andrew T.

To: Charlie T.

Subject: I am not afraid of pine straw

Date: October 31, 2005

Dear Charlie:

You will recall that it was approximately a year ago that I was attacked by pine straw. Today while I was raking up nine large piles of pine straw so that I could cut the grass I began to remember that it was one year ago that I was attacked and had to go to the doctor and have a large vacuum cleaner suck the pine straw residue off of my ear drum after paying a $100.00 deductible for 8 ml for ear drops!! Well, things are much better this year.

While raking up the pine straw I heard the pine straw needles discussing what happened last year and they were planning another "terrorist style" attack this year. I quickly reminded them that since last year two pine trees had been cut down (Coincidence?? I think not) --- a large one and a small one --- so none of them were safe.

That seemed to get their attention. Then I told them that Brenda had given conditional approval for four more pine trees to meet a similar fate. When I would not identify which four pine trees were targeted the pine straw began to panic and tried to become my best friend.

No, I am Not afraid of pine straw.

Love,

Dad

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